Chicka Chicka Boom Boom, Will There Be Enough Room (To Properly Social Distance Within The Coconut Tree)

A told B,
and B told C,

“I’ll meet you at the top of the coconut tree — as long as you wear a mask and we are in tier 2 mitigations of the coconut tree.”

“Whee!” said D
to immunocompromised E F G,

“I’ll beat you to the top of the coconut tree, because I just got a prophylactic dose of Hydroxychloroquine and drank bleach!”

Chicka chicka boom boom!
Will there be enough room?

Oh, and look! Here comes mask-adverse H up the coconut tree, who still won’t wear a face covering even though there is an Presidential Executive Order mandating masks be worn when around others.

and I and J
and tag-a-long K,
all on their way
up the coconut tree with news there are rising new Covid-19 case averages in the coconut tree metro area and they have zero confidence in the tree’s contact tracing program.

Chicka chicka boom boom!
Will there be enough room?
Look who’s coming!

L M N O P, who all visited a bitchin’ birthday party thrown by their homies Q R S and are now suffering from loss of taste, fatigue, and a fever (and likely an STD)!

And T U V — just tested positive for Covid after participating in the insurrection of the U.S. Capitol!

Still more — W, who can’t seem to understand that a mask should be worn over both the mouth and nose simultaneously!

And X Y Z, whose toxic masculinity prevents them from wearing face coverings (or condoms).

The whole alphabet
up the — Oh no!

Chika chika…
BOOM! BOOM!

Stacey M. Zapalac (@smzapalac) is a satire and humor writer based in Chicago, IL.