It’s Me, Rep. Marjorie Taylor Green And I Would Like To Tell You About My Freedom of Speech
Hey there my fellow Americans, I am Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA), and I am here to tell you I am mad as heck about Twitter temporarily suspending my account and infringing upon my First Amendment right to free speech. Twitter had the, as the Jews say, “chutzpah” to temporarily suspend my account. Well isn’t that just a big ‘ol slap in the face to democracy? “Without explanation” big tech pulled the plug on my Twitter account for twelve whole hours. It wasn’t because I said President Biden should be impeached, that the Parkland school shooting was fake, or that there’s an Islamic invasion of our government. Nope! I found out it was some BS pertaining to comments I posted online about the Antifa-loving deep state stealing the election from President Trump. Not sure if Twitter has ever listened to “The Star Spangled Banner,” but I live in the “Land of the free and the home of the brave” so I can say what I want when I want, and I don’t give a flying fig what people think.
I am an elected official and former crossfit gym owner for Christ’s sake. I know the Constitution like I know Rep. Lauren Boebert’s gun safe combination — by heart. Fooled you! Lauren Boebert doesn’t own a gun safe. Listen, I carry a copy of the Constitution in my pocketbook. It sits right between my Glock 9mm and my Bible. So I am happy to whip out the US of A’s list of fundamental laws if you ever need a refresher about this gal’s basic right to say whatever she wants.
Now that Biden is our new maniac socialist leader, some are saying republicans (even the crybabies ones like Cheney, Rice, Newhouse, and company) should use this as an opportunity to restore American’s hope for healing, peace, and unity. Apparently using Twitter as a weapon to promote mistrust, aggression, and to feed the paranoia beast is not what people like VP Momala Harris think is best for promoting solidarity. Sheesh she is such a buzzkill isn’t she?
Well friends, hear me loud and clear, I will release the kraken on Twitter or Facebook if I wanna. It is my duty to serve my constituents to the best of my abilities. Therefore, if I want to call the newly inaugurated President “China Joe,” I will. Heck, I will run down the streets of Georgia’s 14th Congressional District wearing nothing but my MAGA hat, Revlon Super Lustrous Lip Gloss, and my “What would Jesus do?” tattoo if it helps to smoke out these Satan-worshiping-gluten-intolerant-pedophile-Democrats whose goal it is to undermine President Trump, our true leader.
In conclusion, we need to protect free speech and not let big tech companies like Twitter silence QAnon’s, whoops, I mean my truth. Free speech guided by evidence and intellect is like deer hunting in Georgia without an assault rifle, it just doesn’t get the job quickly and takes a lot of effort. If I want to enthusiastically share information with my 70,000+ social media followers that the deaths of innocent children and school staff members was fake or that the 2020 election was totally rigged, by God I will! I am not going to let silly things like facts, data, or reality rain on my conservative parade. ’Cause this is America my fellow patriots and thanks to the First Amendment, I can say whatever I want.
Stacey M. Zapalac (@smzapalac) is a satire and humor writer based in Chicago, IL.
