Stacey Zapalac – Medium

Stacey Zapalac

Chicka Chicka Boom Boom, Will There Be Enough Room (To Properly Social Distance Within The Coconut…

A told B, and B told C,

2 min readJan 26, 2021

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Chicka Chicka Boom Boom, Will There Be Enough Room (To Properly Social Distance Within The Coconut…

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Stacey Zapalac

It’s Me, Rep. Marjorie Taylor Green And I Would Like To Tell You About My Freedom of Speech

Hey there my fellow Americans, I am Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA), and I am here to tell you I am mad as heck about Twitter…

3 min readJan 25, 2021

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It’s Me, Rep. Marjorie Taylor Green And I Would Like To Tell You About My Freedom of Speech

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Stacey Zapalac

I am Sen. Josh Hawley And After Much Consideration I Have Decided To Continue to Torment America…

During this inflection point in America, one might assume I would examine the collective actions of President Trump and steer my moral…

3 min readJan 12, 2021

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I am Sen. Josh Hawley And After Much Consideration I Have Decided To Continue to Torment America…

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Stacey Zapalac

A Letter To The Guy Who Put His Feet Up On Nancy Pelosi’s Desk

Dear Mr. Barnett, I had an opportunity to become aware of you after your maskless photograph, lounging in Speaker of The House Nancy…

3 min readJan 7, 2021

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A Letter To The Guy Who Put His Feet Up On Nancy Pelosi’s Desk

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Stacey Zapalac

Finally, A Female You Can Go Into Combat With

Many still suggest the Obama-era policy of integrating women into combat completely undermines our military readiness. Listen, I get it. I…

3 min readMar 26, 2020

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Finally, A Female You Can Go Into Combat With

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Stacey Zapalac

Having ‘The Talk’ With My 80-Something Dad

I was mentally prepared for the call I would receive someday notifying me of my elderly father’s death from one of his many chronic…

5 min readFeb 14, 2020

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Having ‘The Talk’ With My 80-Something Dad

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Stacey Zapalac

Adam Neumann’s (Post-WeWork) Happy New Year Letter

Happy New Year family, friends, former co-workers, former employees, members, investors, as well as tequila and beer vendors! I hope these…

3 min readJan 1, 2020

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Adam Neumann’s (Post-WeWork) Happy New Year Letter

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Stacey Zapalac

10 Reasons I Am Breaking Up With My Soy Vanilla Lavender Candle I Picked Up At A Craft Fair

When we met, your infused natural essential oils bewitched me, but now I find your scent too intense.

2 min readDec 12, 2019

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10 Reasons I Am Breaking Up With My Soy Vanilla Lavender Candle I Picked Up At A Craft Fair

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Stacey Zapalac

The Best Goddamned Surprise 30th Birthday Party Ever

All right ladies, let’s huddle up, it’s almost go time and we need to do a quick check-in to make sure we are ready to roll for Karen’s…

4 min readOct 17, 2019

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Stacey Zapalac

Easy Steps to Getting Your Pre-Baby Body Back Before Leaving the Hospital

So you pushed out a tiny human, it’s time to get in shape.

3 min readMar 12, 2019

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Stacey Zapalac

Stacey Zapalac

Stacey Zapalac (@smzapalac) is a humor writer based in Chicago, IL. She has studied improv, writing, and satire with The Second City in Chicago.

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